The Flame of Friendship
by AmberHerondale
Summary: A nightmare of his sister, Ella, drives Will Herondale to tell Jem the truth about his past. Post Clockwork Prince, contains spoilers


**Disclaimer: I own nothing, obviously**

_Will walked alone through the pale blue sky. He was free, free as a bird. There was nothing evil here, no demon or pain, not here. Here the world was bliss._

_ Suddenly, a cloud in front of him began to shape. Will frowned. Weren't clouds supposed to be roundish, with curves, not-_

_ Will sucked in his breathe. He recognized the shape now; the cloud had taken the form of Ella. Ella, his sister, the only one who had ever seen through him like he was glass. The pure-white version of the girl smiled, lightly, almost _mockingly_, at him. But that was impossible; Ella was the angel of his mind. She would never mock him, not even in death._

_ "Will," she chided, "you've changed, my fy mrawd_*****_."_

_ He nodded, words caught in his throat. He cleared it, saying, "So I have. I am an adult now."_

_ Ella shook her head. "No. Not yet."_

_ He did not know what to say to that. _

_ She tilted her head at him. "Why?"_

_ He was puzzled. "Why what?"_

_ "Why would you do such a thing to me? I am your sister, your blood. And yet you killed me. I thought you loved me."_

_ "I- no! No, Ella, I do. Love you, I mean. I would do anything for you."_

_ "Then why?" She whispered, so soft he could barely hear her. _

_ "I did not mean to! It was an accident, a mistake, I never wanted you to leave-"_

_ "You did," she said, her voice still hauntingly quiet. "You did this to me, William Owen Herondale. It was you!"_

Will awoke, a scream caught just behind his lips. At first, when he had just moved to London, the yells and cries escaped him when the nightmares forced him awake. But he had learned better, for he had seen the pity in Charlotte's eyes when she came bursting into his room. Pity was not good, Will knew that much.

Or at least he thought he did.

Will climbed out from his bed, grabbing some trousers and a good shirt. Experience had taught him that going back to sleep after a night mare of his elder sister helped nothing; he would just go through that hell again.

Once dressed, Will sat on the edge of his bed. He did not know what to do now. He knew if he left, the others would assume he was out drinking or whoring or something of the sort. A week prior, that would be his motivation. But he knew the truth now: there was no curse. And besides, Cecily was here now. That was the last thing he wanted his little sister thinking of him.

Will's eyebrows knitted together. He knew very well what he would do. It had been his pastime for the last few weeks, yet it was pointless.

Sighing, Will reached for his copy of _A Tale of Two Cities._ He couldn't seem to help but re-read it ever since Tessa had spoken to him of it.

His fingers just brushed the spine when he heard it: the music. A sweet, light tune was slipping under his door.

Jem.

A small smile appeared absentmindedly on Will's lips. His parabatai's music never failed to enchant him.

The next moment, the smile vanished. For some reason, this particular dream wouldn't be shaken from Will's conscience. _You killed me…_

Will suddenly jumped up from his bed. He couldn't stand being alone; if Jem was awake then he would join him.

He walked silent through the Institute's hallways. The music kept him moving quickly, for the very idea of being with someone was everything to Will.

_I thought you loved me…_

Will bit his lip terribly hard, and unbidden to him it began to bleed. It was dripping down his chin slowly when Will finally reached the door to Jem's room. He slammed it open, harder then he meant to.

Jem jumped inside his room. "Will," He said, his voice worried. Will hardly noticed, he was stuck in his head. _You did this…why…thought you loved me…_

He moved swiftly to the end of Jem's bed, sitting on the ottoman that lay there. "Jem, I…" He croaked. At any other time, he would be mortified by the weakness in his tone, but now Will could think only of the ghost of his sister.

Jem walked to stand behind him, gripping his best friend's shoulder. "Are you well?"

Will shrugged helplessly. "I cannot forget her. I've tried, believe me."

"Forget whom, William?" Jem asked quietly.

Will stood up abruptly and moved to the window seat. He sat there, gazing out at the stars above. "My sister."

"Cecily? Why would you want to forget her?" Jem regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth. His paabatai shoulders jerked inwards, a clear sign that comment had not been welcome.

"Not her, James. My elder sister. Her name was Ella. She was…" Will's voice broke off, and he cleared it awkwardly. "She was everything. But she is dead… dead because of _me._"

"It couldn't have been, Will, you wouldn't-"

"-Stop! You don't know, you weren't there-" Will had begun to shout, but he cut himself off. "I a sorry, I did not mean to yell. None of this is your fault."

Jem simply stood there, looking at the dark-haired teen. _It is odd, _he thought, _for years we have been friends. Will knows me back to front, better than perhaps I know myself. How is it that I do not know him at all?_

"I was twelve," Will began, much to Jem's surprise. "It had rained that day, and I knew I would catch hell from my mother if I went outside. I was bored though, and so I… I decided that I would go mess around with my father's old Shadowhunter things. I found a box, full of things that I didn't really understand. Most intriguing to me was a small container, for aren't unopened boxes always fascinating to young boys?"

Will's voice was empty as he continued his tale. "I opened it, but you see, it was not just a box. It was a pyxis, and a demon I now know as Marbas came out. It attacked me. I would've died that day, but my sister, Ella, charged in. She saved me… but the demon knocked her aside and said to me that I would be forever cursed, that anyone who loved me would die. And that it would begin with Ella." Will's voice dropped a pitch. "She comforted me, you understand. Told me by no means was it true. After all, she was not dead, was she?" Sarcasm filled Will's tone.

"But the next morning she was, and so I left, never to return. I knew that to stay would endanger my family. I traveled to London, and did my very best to make everyone who could possibly love me hate me: Charlotte, Henry, Jessamine, the Lightwoods… Until you." Will bowed his head. It almost looked as if he was praying. "You were so nice. You couldn't seem to hate me, and I began to think that you might be immune to the curse. Since you were…" He swallowed. "Anyway, a few weeks ago I went to Magnus Bane. I thought he could perhaps help me."

For weeks he summoned up demons for me. None were a success, until finally at the Lightwoods' party I saw him. I chased him down, and he stabbed me. I brought the tooth to Magnus, and he was able to summon the demon. I confronted him. He messed with me until Magnus intervened, and he told the truth."

Suddenly all the pain of the last five years was streaming down Will Herondale's face. "There was no curse," He choked out. "I had been a fool, and my life is so forth _wrecked_."

Jem strode as fast as the mountain's wind to his parabatai's side. "Will, I… I am so, so sorry."

Will ducked his head away. "You have no cause to say that. I was the one who… Who took advantage of your illness. I was the one who was such a gullible idiot…"

"You were the one who sacrificed everything," Jem said gently. "You were the one who cared enough to throw away everything to protect everyone you knew. You are a better person than most can ever dream of being.** It has been the privilege and the honor of my life to know you. ** **You are, as I told you before, everything."

Jem wrapped his arms around his friend, and for once it was Jem who was supporting Will. For the brothers of each other's heart would always be there for the other. They were one, in their heart.

*=my brother

**=Clockwork Princess quote!

**Wow… that turned out very different than I expected. A bit cheesy at the end, I know…**


End file.
